“Then they lived happily ever after.” The most beautiful ending of any successful love story we believe.
Is it true?
Can we consider marriage as the trophy we won in the game of love?
Well, apparently it’s not the end. It’s just the beginning. You have to prepare yourself with lots of love, compassion, and understanding to play the long-term game of marriage. It is not always going to be easy. Of course, you will have fun playing it, but you cannot avoid the work it takes to maintain a long and happy marriage.
Here are some tips for you to keep in mind to score your goal.
Respect each other unconditionally.
Respect is the key element in any healthy relationship. Respecting your spouse’s time, space, values, what they do, and who they are in the fuel for a successful and long marriage. For example, a stay-at-home wife deserves equal respect as a working wife. A husband who is struggling to maintain his family deserves equal respect as a successful husband. As a couple, you should respect each other for making every little effort to keep that marriage going.
Don’t be dependent.
When in love, we expect our partners to make us happy. Of course, they can, but you should not be solely dependent on them. It is not possible to make everyone happy every time.
They say happiness is within. To make others happy, we must first be happy. Who knows what makes us happy better than ourselves. So, being yourself and working for your happiness can help build a stronger relationship. Spend time with yourself by doing what makes you happy. Join that dance class, travel with your friends, read your favourite novel, do whatever it takes to keep you sane. Because “a happy you” can only make “a happy us”.
Avoid judgment.
Everyone has a unique perception of everything. It is completely normal to have different opinions as a couple. Avoid judging your partner on how he or she perceives things rather than try to understand the why. You may not know how their life was before you, what experiences made them think like that.
To maintain transparency in your marriage, share your feelings and experiences with each other. It will help you to understand each other, and you’ll become less judgmental.
Do not take them for granted.
After spending a lot of time with each other, Somehow at a point, we take our other half for granted. We start to give less attention to their contribution to our life which can make the other one feel less valuable. This can make things worse.
To break the monotony we should make our spouses feel that they are special with warm gestures like small gifts or surprise date nights. You can do whatever conveys that you are grateful to have them in your life. As tacky as it sounds, it is important to spark joy in your married life.
Be expressive with your thoughts and feelings.
It is not necessary to explain the importance of communication in any relationship. Always express yourself to your partner about your feelings to ease your journey of marriage. Do not assume things about each other. Communicate clearly what you want from them. Make them comfortable to share their expectations from the relationship. Often small communication gaps lead to bigger conflicts in marriages.
Accept each other with strengths and weaknesses.
Accepting your partner with their strengths and weaknesses is one key factor for a successful marriage. No one is perfect. Working with each other’s strengths and weaknesses will maintain the balance in your marriage.
Humiliating your spouse for their weakness can damage the bond. Help them to work for improvement. Appreciate them for their strengths. Get each other back to face the challenges. Rather than a commentator, try to be the cheerleader for your better half.
But welcome new changes.
While you accept each other, be flexible to new changes as per the situation demands. Just because your partner accepts you as you do not mean you can be rigid with your attitude and decisions. While dealing with new changes, you both have to adjust and sacrifice mutually.
Bonus tips
Explore common interest
While enjoying doing things that we love is important, exploring things that you love to do together will build a strong relationship. Spending this quality time with your partner will give you more clarity and perspective. You will get to know more about their personalities. This can be cooking together, travelling to your favourite destination, or enjoying something adventurous.
Have realistic expectations from your relationship
No marriage is a fairytale, full of joy, presents, and surprises. Every relationship has good as well as bad phases. There will be arguments, conflicts of opinions, moments when you feel like it is not working. You just need to hold on there with patience. Try to sort things out, putting all your efforts into making it work.
Give them space
Do not expect your partner to sacrifice themselves for you or your family. Divide responsibilities with mutual understanding. Give each other space to explore themselves, chase their dreams and pursue their hobbies. A confident and content spouse can make marriage more beautiful. So support each other to the best of your abilities.
A great marriage is not when the “perfect couple” comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
Dave Meurer
